08 ☕ Voice + Spam

[psychic_hotline]

[Avengers Filter]

Okay, so. Apparently I need to make something clear.

My name's Sara Pezzini. I'm Loki's Warden. I'm not going to quote Webster, but what that means in practice is that if you have a problem with him or if he tries to pull any shit on any of you, you come to me. He says a single word to you, get it fact-checked. Quietly.

And let me be clear: I don't care about reasonable self-defense in the face of an immediate physical threat. I do care about vendettas and pre-emptive strikes and bullying for the sake of it. And I really care about mugging a paraplegic so you can use parts from his wheelchair to attack my Inmate for talking.

[Loooong breath.]

I know none of you are going to like this, but the fact is that he has exactly the same right to be here that any other Inmate has. You can't just beat him up until he stops being a problem and you can't threaten him until he disappears - the opposite is true. I cannot say this clearly enough: he thrives on your attention. Even if I was prepared to let you, you cannot hurt him badly enough to make the fact you even bothered not worth it as far as he's concerned. Watching you guys fight among yourselves is like porn to him. Another couple of days like yesterday? You might as well just draw short straws to see who gets to go jerk him off, because I guarantee that's the level of satisfaction he's getting out of this.

If you can't deal with him being here, then don't. Just take a step back and get on with your lives and ignore him.

And learn to use filters.

[Open Pub Spam]

[Sara's incapable of getting drunk, these days. Not that she's ever been a heavy drinker - she went from being a violent but sober child to an almost obsessively responsible adult with no transitional period - but since acquiring the Witchblade she's noticed her alcohol tolerance stretch and stretch until you could call it an immunity. Apparently the same crazy magic bullshit that lets her shrug off bullet wounds and walk away from skyscraper-height falls is also not letting her poison herself. Pain in the ass.  It forced her to quit smoking, too.

Still, after drinking five whiskeys like they're water she realises that a) there's no-one around to put up a front for and b) if she's drinking for the taste she might as well drink something she likes the taste of. So now she's sitting at a corner table, nursing a Cosmo and trying not to brood.

Some slight brooding is occurring nonetheless.]

Comments

[Spam]

[batmanschmatman]

[Ah, brooding. A noble pass time, and one your boyfriendish thing has had a lot of experience with. Shocking, I know, considering he sometimes dresses up like a bat and does gargoyle impersonations on rooftops.

Dick doesn't spend a lot of time in the pub. Or, like, any time in the pub, really, because he's not a drinker and on top of that is an incredible light weight, but, well, you weren't in any of your usual hideouts and so the pub had seemed like a more likely spot than the lab or something to find you. And apparently it was.]

You know, your face can get stuck like that, if you're not careful. Everyone assumes it's just a thing to get kids to stop pouting, but you should see Bruce. [He slides into the seat next to her, folding his arms on the table and looking at her seriously.] What's up?

[Spam]

[psychic_hotline]

Mostly it's that the Avengers are assholes.

[She groans and tips her head back.]

Oh, God. I just called Captain America an asshole.

[Spam]

[batmanschmatman]

[Well. This is news to him.]

What happened?

[Spam]

[psychic_hotline]

Long story short? Loki used some of his precision-aimed bullshit on the newest guy, Clint, and a couple of the others decided that threats of violence or actual violence were smart ways to respond to that.

[Private]

[persuadeyou]

Could have done without that mental image.

[Private]

[psychic_hotline]

I know.

[Visual aids: USEFUL DETERRENTS.]

[Private]

[persuadeyou]

I didn't know about the latest exercise in stupidity. It won't happen again. [Or she will kick all of their asses, Jesus Christ guys what is wrong with you.]

[Private]

[psychic_hotline]

[Welp. Going to take this at face value for the time being; what she's gathered from Loki's file is that Natasha's the least able to take at face value but also the one with the most common sense, so.]

Thanks. Appreciate it.

[avengers + sara filter/text]

[aggravating]

ftr
for the record
because the record is key, here
and i mean i just want to say that this is all not my fault its the fault of. well. just about everyone else. aside from natasha. hi, natasha, sweetheart, haven't talked to you since the shit hit the fan. if there is even a fan. is there a fan? because if not i can build one when im not, you know, in the barge equivalent of a padded cell.
by the way, pretty sure loki should be in here instead of reading poetry. why did you give him poetry? you should be literally stripped of wardenhood for helping him be even more obnoxious. oh but. not in here with me. id end up skinned alive or something because sorry but. youre stuck with the guy who chucked me out of a ninety story building just because i pointed out he has performance issues just like every other midgardian peasant.
lets look at the facts here for a moment okay?
number one...
okay, facts are overrated.
point of this.
ftr
for the record
reiteration, just for you capsaicin
i did not mug speed wheeler
i intended on borrowing a part from his chair to make a punch from me a little more effective because i know for a f a c t
fact
f a c t
emphasis.
... shit.
i know for a fact. f a c t. that asgardians are thicker skinned than humans. ive punched one in the face fully suited up without even breaking the skin.
also pretty sure having sex with a human would be the ultimate punishment for him so don't tempt me.
no.
wait.
that came out wrong.
the point.
because fuck i had a point.
keep him from trying to start shit and shit wont get started.

[.... he should really know better than to try to respond to anything while going through heavy alcohol withdrawal.

And yet? Well. Here he is.]

[avengers + sara filter]

[persuadeyou]

You're an idiot. [What even is life.]

[avengers + sara filter]

[aggravating]

that hurts.
im not making you toys anymore.

[Life is a crappy, crappy thing :c]

[avengers + sara filter/voice]

[psychic_hotline]

...

Hope you don't take offense at me shelving this conversation until I don't have to talk over your withdrawal symptoms.

[avengers + sara filter/text]

[aggravating]

im in the perfect mindset to give an extensive five hour lecture on microrobotics actually.
but hey.
whatever you want.

[He'll... message you in a day or so saying he's an asshole. Don't worry, Sara.]

[Spam]

[wedonot]

[Charles had really just been coming by to let the pub staff know that he'd confiscated the alcohol from Tony's room and he wasn't, under any circumstances, to have access to more of it, when he spotted Sara at one of the corner tables. He wasn't planning on having anything to drink - he'd had enough the night before - but he did want to know how the discussion had gone, and it looked like she could use a friendly ear, anyway, so he headed over to see how she was doing.]

Dare I ask how speaking with the Avengers went?

[Spam]

[psychic_hotline]

[Charles is kind of at the back of the list of people she wants to see right now. Not because of the Tony debacle, but because of what he'd said about his spine. About repairing the damage. Could she...?

She'd healed her partner basically by accident. He'd had a hole torn through him, multiple ribs broken, several organs pierced or traumatised, and though nobody had said the words there was an expectation that her temporary replacement partner would become her permanent replacement partner. And he'd walked out of the hospital, because of her, because of them.

But that had been during a honeymoon period of sorts, after she'd reclaimed what had been stolen from her. Their relationship isn't quite as comfortable now, she doesn't think, but maybe...

She hauls it all back and gives Charles a little greeting toast with her cocktail glass.]

I'm reasonably sure Tony was trying to communicate in English.

[Spam]

[wedonot]

Trying? I suppose I have an interesting few days to look forward to.

[And he'd caught, well, fragments of that. Something to do with what he'd said, about his spine and whether or not- oh.

He usually doesn't, especially not with people he doesn't know well, but God he really wanted to know, get a little more information before he tried to figure out a way to navigate the conversation in that direction, so he went to push just slightly, not noticeably, hopefully, against her mind, to really understand what she'd been thinking about.]

[thestarspangledman]

I've been trying to ignore him. I'll pass the word along, if people haven't figured it out by now.

I'm sorry for all the mess this has caused, though.

[psychic_hotline]

[Curse your politeness and winning smile, Steve.]

Could've been worse. Thanks.

[thestarspangledman]

[Yeah, he's good at those.]

I don't even want to think about that.

[Private]

[worldsbestmarksman]

[Clint is still at the range, but at least he's not shooting for this. Instead he's just staring at the camera.

Tiredly. He's a lot calmer then he was however.]

Pretty sure I already did that, metaphorically speaking. [Jerking off thanks for that image.] if anything that he said is remotely true so if that's going to happen I'd like to take myself out of the running for the being Loki's fluffer position.

[Private]

[psychic_hotline]

That's something you guys really need to work out among yourselves. But you and I have already talked about this.

[Private]

[worldsbestmarksman]

Just confirming.

I'll stay away from..[his hand tightens] ...and he'll stay away from me.

You talked to him about that too right?

[bodilesswarrior]

[Barbara doesn't drink. She never has, and she's probably not going to start.

She got past her issues watching other people do it a long time ago, though, and she rather likes bars - if it's the right sort, if she's in the right mood. More importantly, they're a hub of venting and gossip; it's amazing what you can overhear.

She expected to sit in a corner with a coke and a notebook, but when she catches sight of Sara she changes direction.]

You look like you could use a distraction. [Her smile is grimly sympathetic; she knows she's worn that look more than most herself. She won't ask why Sara's brooding - they barely know each other, it's not her business - but maybe she can lighten the load.]

[psychic_hotline]

[Sara smiles and straightens a little. She still has some reservations about the Barbara Gordon Situation, although most of them arise from a conversation with Dick she's yet to have.]

Think I could. Don't worry, I'm much more sober than the empty shot glasses would have you believe.

[bodilesswarrior]

That's good, I'd feel kind of awkward otherwise. [She gestures towards the coke bottle in her lap with a rueful little smile.]

Looks like you hold your liquor pretty well. I bet that comes in handy.